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My Life Changing Experience of Quitting Porn and Masturbation – NoFap


As of writing this, it's been 12 weeks since I've watched prostitutes have sex on a pixel screen, jacked off my life energy into a napkin, or hooked up with any whores from the local bars.

And I am blown away by how incredible life feels now.

If I had told the former me that I was going to go through with this, he would have replied with:

    "You're insane! You're going to feel so damn miserable!"
    "You're a healthy young male with high testosterone. It's literally impossible to give it up!"
    "It has been clinically proven by 'science' that you will develop prostate cancer, shrivel up, and die if you stop jacking off!"
    "Why would any porn loving person in his right mind want to quit?! It feels so good!"

I think most people who read self improvement sites and are actively putting in effort to make their lives better are at least subconsciously aware that watching porn is not good for their body or mind. It doesn't necessarily mean they want to quit or they think it's evil, but maybe they don't feel like its possible for them personally to quit. Or perhaps its not really worth it. I mean after all, what do you really stand to gain?

Well, my friends, after 3 months of no porn, masturbation, or sex, I have come to the conclusion that watching pornography AND masturbating (with or without porn) is not only "bad", but straight up evil.

Does that sound a bit harsh? Isn't it a stretch to say that it's "evil"? I mean whats so bad about it anyway?

It's evil very much in the same way that a vampire trying to suck the life out of you is evil.

It's evil in the same way a flesh eating disease is evil.

It's evil because it robs you physically and psychologically, drastically dulls your quality of life, drains the very life force of your being, and prevents you from becoming the man you were meant to be.

My perception of what "normal" everyday life should feel like before I quit porn and masturbation is a junkyard compared to what I now consider "normal".
A World Full of Color and Life

You are not just a sack of bones with some muscle and tissue covering it that originated from a broth of chemical soup 2 billion years ago. You are a living, breathing, energetic organism that is constantly charging up energy and releasing energy in one form or another.

It's been over 12 weeks since I've released. My energy is through the roof. I used to be the kind of guy that would consume ungodly amounts of caffeine just to get through my day, even after getting 10 hours of sleep.

Have you ever heard the expression "cleaning out your tubes"? The concept behind that is that your seed is something that is bad for you and will somehow cause damage to you if you build it up over an extended period of time. Thus, the solution would be to release it, thereby saving yourself from... what exactly?

I mean really, does anyone actually believe that semen is going to start oozing out of their ears and cause them to explode if they don't release it?

Yet this is more or less the way I perceived it for the majority of my life. I would smugly quote studies of how good masturbation was for the body and how there were such terrible awful consequences if I didn't do my duty of "cleaning out my tubes." I couldn't have been any further from the truth.

Your sexual energy is not a toxin that needs to be let out. Rather, it is the very essence of your life. Building it up causes me to feel more alive and vibrant, while constantly releasing it did just the opposite.

Everything around you will appear brighter and full of life

Ever heard of the myth that masturbation will turn you blind? I now understand why people once believed that. While no amount of masturbation will cause you to permanently lose your eyesight (I would be blind by now if it did), there is no doubt that it will weaken your eyes.

The best analogy I can make is with weed. Anyone who has ever smoked weed and gotten high knows that colors get brighter while you're on the drug. If you step outside on a warm sunny summer day, everything around you will appear so beautiful and colorful and you can't help but smile at how amazing it all looks.

Now imagine being able to see and experience that every single day in a sober state of mind. What I once perceived as dull, ordinary, and mundane now appears as colorful and full of luster. I makes me so angry to think that I spent so many years living through a dulled down version of reality when my eyes were capable of seeing the world as I see it now.
My Energy and Motivation, and Overall Happiness Have Skyrocketed

I remember a time when I lived in an emotionally zombified state 24/7. By objective standards, I was still taking care of business and doing pretty well for myself, but something was missing...

I couldn't quite put my finger on it at the time, but in hindsight I know exactly what it was.

Ordinary "mundane" life felt so dead, boring, and lifeless.

I would wake up, go to school, go to the gym, get my work done, and eat my 6 meals. I would do that 5 days a week.

The other 2 days out of the week, I would meet up with my friends, get drunk, and go out looking for pussy.

Every once in a while, I would splurge and spend a decent chunk of money on something nice like a trip or something fancy.

My "average emotional state" wasn't happy, cheerful, and happy to be alive. Rather, it was "meh - life is boring."

Work was a drag.

School was beyond boring.

Lifting weights and eating meals was a necessarily evil for the greater good of building a physique.

Life was an emotional roller coaster that consisted of getting high (off splurging activities, masturbation, pussy, and drugs) and going back to the low (everyday mundane work), only to repeat over and over again.
12 weeks into giving up porn and masturbation, I feel happier than I've ever been

Instead of chasing happiness and contentment in a neurochemical high that came and went, I feel a deep inner happiness and joy of being alive on a day to day basis.

It's almost as if someone took a syringe full of joy and injected it into my half-dead emotionally zombified corpse of a body and brought me back to life.

Everyday, ordinary life no longer "sucks". Whether its taking a walk through the woods, catching a smile from a cute girl, working hard on classwork, or going to the gym - I feel great!

Try to think back to when you were a child. Back before you were ever consumed by the madness of lust. Back when the world seemed exciting and full of adventure! It seems like a far off distant memory in Neverland, doesn't it?

What if I told you there way to regain that childlike joy and happiness?

When you stop polluting your mind and soul with pixel whores on a daily basis and you stop draining your life energy (that's what masturbation is),
You Will Get a Whole Lot More Attention from Women

This is one of those things that I've been struggling to find a rational explanation for. To this day I must confess that I have absolutely no idea how it works. Some people say its pheromones. Others say it has to do with higher testosterone levels. I believe it goes a lot deeper than both of those.

My best guess would be that they can sense the life force and vitality radiating from your being. This becomes more pronounced the further along you go.

Physically speaking, I'm almost exactly am the exact same person I was when I stopped masturbating. I don't look any different (apart from a brighter face and better skin). I wear the same clothes. I have more or less the same muscle mass. And yet there is a night and day difference in the attention I get from random girls.

Some people like to treat this as the end all be all of quitting masturbation and porn. Their line of thinking goes something like this.

Stop jacking off --> More attention from girls --> Get laid more

There is some truth to it, but I doesn't make any sense to me to stop masturbating solely to get more girls. Even before I got into this whole thing, I had no problem going to bars and picking up sluts or meeting chicks off Tinder. Now that I've been on this no Porn/Masturbation/Orgasm journey for a while, I've come to have a better understanding of myself as a person.

Sexual energy is your most powerful resource you have available to you. It is far more powerful than any drug I've ever taken and it is the greatest motivating force known to mankind. It isn't meant to be squandered into a napkin or on whores. This power is meant to be harnessed and used to create the life you want for yourself and your family.

I'm not gonna lie, the increased attention from girls feels pretty damn good. But that's no longer the motivating force behind why I'm doing this. I no longer feel the need to bust a nut, get my high, and move on. My whole perception of myself and the long term future has changed. I want to use this energy and power to build an awesome life for myself while I still have my youth.

Two years from now, am I really going to care about how many random girls I fucked? I won't. The pleasure is fleeting and it doesn't last anymore than a day. It has absolutely no long term fruits.
If you're thinking to yourself,

    There's no way I can do that! I'm just too damn horny! I want to bang every semi-cute girl I see!

I can relate to you because that is the person I once used to be. Trying to get as much pussy as possible was my life. One thing you'll come to realize once you stick to this journey long enough is that your lust is insatiable and no matter what you do, it will never be enough. It only knows one word; MORE.

The more you feed it, the larger it gets, the more it demands, and the more it drains and consumes you. I used to laugh at guys who looked at girls as anything more than sex objects. I would think to myself,

    What a bunch of suckers. While they're wasting their time trying to connect with them, I'll be banging them.

Every time I would see a pretty girl, the only thing I could think about would be how I could get sex out of her. Sometimes I'd win, sometimes I'd lose. Whatever. It was all just a game to me. Sex was just another drug just like alcohol or weed. The only difference being that it got me a whole lot higher.

People will hate on this because they don't want to change their ways. That's fine. If I had heard this myself a year ago, I would have been angry and dismissed it as bullshit, because I was committed to a lifestyle of sex, drugs, and rock n' roll. In my perception of the world, the happiest people in the world must have been rappers and Saudi princes who make the biggest bucks and fuck the most broads.

People who don't want their worldview challenged will conveniently parrot how some scientist somewhere did some experiment (the details of which they could care less about), therefore masturbation and porn and uncontrollable lust is good for you.

Maybe you're at a stage in your life where I was at a year ago.

From someone who's been there and done that, all I can say is that hedonism becomes a bottomless pit that can never be satisfied no matter how much you pour into it.
Liberal Propaganda and Modern Culture Lies

Read any mainstream medical source or media outlet on what they think about masturbation. Everywhere you look, you see the same message spammed over and over. Sexual release and orgasm is completely healthy and it would be in your best interest to release your energy as often as possible. Don't buy into the propaganda. Don't take everything you read in a medical journal at face value. Think about it logically. What incentive does anyone have to tell you that draining your energy is a bad thing? How does that help the medical establishment in any way?

If you feel healthy and full of vitality and energy on a daily basis, your immune system is strong, and you feel like a million bucks, would you have any need for doctors, drugs, and vaccines? Of course not. Everyone gets rich off your sickness. When you dull your mind with retard TV, eat your poisoned junk food, and dissipate your energy on a regular basis, you make a very good slave who will shut the fuck up and do what you're told and buy more products to cure your ailments.

When you stop masturbating and learn to control your lust, you will notice all of your other addictions dropping off one by one. Quitting cigarettes and weed becomes a breeze. You no longer want to pollute your body with potato chips and barbecue sauce on a regular basis. You no longer want to sit in front of a TV and watch rich people live the life you could be living if you weren't so damn lazy.

I genuinely feel bad for all the young guys citing phony 'scientific' studies of "masturbation helping prostrate cancer".

Wake up.

Use your brain.

Don't be a naive, braindead sheep.

We don't live in a morally perfect world where truth, reason, and justice are the moral compasses that guide studies and research.

If you're worried about developing prostate cancer or your body breaking down from not releasing your sexual energy, accept the fact that you have been brainwashed, try it out for yourself, and learn the truth. Don't fall for the "scientific studies" that claim that your body will self destruct if you don't release your sexual energy.

They're a bunch of filthy, fucking liars and I was once dumb enough to believe their lie.

The #1 driving force behind all the research you see is the almighty dollar. That goes for cancer research, aids research, and every other kind of research you can think of.

Nobody gives a fuck about you or saving the world. It's all about finding ways to make profit. If it can't be monetized, you won't hear about it.

You're either deluding yourself or an idiot if you believe otherwise. You may not believe "money is everything", but the people who spoon-feed you this garbage believe otherwise. Just because some person with a scientist badge published something in a peer reviewed journal doesn't mean its free from human prejudice or that you should take it as face value.

In an ideal world, scientists and researchers would do unbiased tests in search for the truth, and then share that truth in the public.

When you add greed into the equation, things changes.

What's more attractive?

Buying Lamborghinis and yachts selling a lie? Or moral satisfaction telling the truth?

You start with the conclusion you want, and collect data to support your thesis.

The world ain't as pure and noble as your government and professors made it out to be, bud.

When something doesn't make sense, ask yourself, "How is someone making money off this?"
Your Skin Quality Will Drastically Improve

This is another one of those things that sounds like witchcraft and "can't possibly work", but my own experience and the experience of countless others that have quit masturbating can attest to it.

I've seen kids with absolutely dreadful cases of acne literally transform into a clear face before my very eyes over the course of just a few weeks.

Expensive lotions and prescription medications did little for their treatment, yet something as simple as quitting masturbating was enough to completely transform their face.

If you have acne or dry skin, you will be blown away by just how much of a difference it makes in just a few short weeks.

While I myself didn't have any acne before I started, I did have a problem with dry skin. My arms, legs, and parts of my face were perpetually dry. When I would apply oils and lotions, it would temporarily mask it, but it was just a quick cover up.

Now, I literally have the skin complexion of a small child. I don't use any lotion whatsoever and even in the dead of winter, dry skin is not a problem. The skin around my entire body glows a bright tan and my face shines, whereas before it had a darker hue and absolutely no glow to it.
Overwhelming Sense of Power and Purpose

This one is much more subtle and creeps up on you like a ninja the further along you get. It's not something that you are consciously aware of or can practice. You can't mind-fuck or hypnotize yourself into becoming more confident in yourself or carry yourself with pride. Over time, it gradually becomes a part of who you are and it feels like second nature.

Some people will say,

    Well that's just placebo. You think you're becoming a more confident, stronger man because of your self control, and its just artificial.

I have to patently disagree. If I'm being completely honest with myself, I cannot attribute these changes to any positive thinking mind-fuckery or placebo.
Specifically, I've noticed the following:

    Walk taller and prouder than usual.
    Look people in the eye when I pass them.
    Feel more "at ease" around everyone
    No longer feel "inferior" or "superior" to anyone I interact with
    Feel happy and motivated to work on a daily basis
    Less likely to put up with anyone's bullshit
    Genuinely more compassionate and merciful to others

If you go a long time without releasing, and then fall into a relapse, it feels like the blood is being sucked right out of your body. You can feel a drastic change in your internal energy and resolve before and after a relapse. And so can other people. I don't claim to understand exactly why or how this works, but I've found it to be true from experience.
Closing Thoughts:

Make no mistake, this road is not all sunshine and rainbows. It demands a kind of discipline that the overwhelming majority of men despise. In the first few weeks, I found myself getting edgier and more pissed off at stupid shit. You will also inevitably go through this stage if you choose to embark on this journey. You will feel like your body and mind are constantly at war with one another, in an effort to drag you back into the comfort of years or possibly decades of behavioral programming.

Your emotions will fluctuate greatly, and you'll start questioning yourself. Your brain will come up with all kinds of excuses as to why its a good idea to retreat into the comfort of an orgasm. I've never done any super hard drugs, but if I had to guess, this is probably similar to what heroin addicts go through when they go through withdrawal.

Don't let that scare you. Remember that a great deal of mental and physical healing has to take place. You cannot heal and rewire a brain that has been ravaged by the drug-like effects of years of porn consumption and masturbation overnight.

Do not be deceived! There is nothing easy or painless about this process. In fact, I would go so far as to say its the hardest thing I've done in my entire life.

The good news? It gets exponentially easier over time. The longer you go without relapsing, the easier it becomes to stick to the path. One day you'll wake up and realize,

    Wow! I legitimately don't feel like spending hours lusting after pixel prostitutes or draining my life force into a napkin!

Nowadays, the only excuse I have for touching my dick on a regular basis is my daily bathmate sessions (unlike masturbating, its actually productive)

There is a light at the end of the tunnel and it is very much worth it.

That's a promise, and I'll stake my life on it.

Filed Under: Male Enhancement Tagged With: biohacking

    Emnesty says   

    March 9, 2016 at 2:27 PM

    Hey man,

    Your content is way past the heads of normal people. Its amazing. And I truly appreciate your work. And thats alot coming from me, I RARELY comment anywhere. But here I am looking for more tips with modafinil, but come across this awesome no fap article. And as drastic as this sounds I broke down, reading it. I mean, not many people do this and when they hear about it they dismiss it. Ive always relapsed and felt bad. But all these benefits and general ideas youve said ive felt too. This time Im gonna go through and get past those 12 weeks. Thank man! PLEASE dont stop writing and helping people. Even if its just one person.

    Much love

        Joel says   

        March 9, 2016 at 7:08 PM

        I’m glad I could relate to you Emenesty. I’ll be releasing plenty more on this topic in the upcoming future, going into details on exactly what worked and didn’t work for me. I’ve tried quitting on and off for years and in the past it always felt like an uphill battle. But not anymore.

            Red says   

            March 10, 2016 at 12:22 AM

            Bruh.. What Emenesty said goes the same for me. I am also struggling with this habit. Joel, you’re the kind of person that is genuinely kind and down to earth and i appreciate that. Thank you for writing these articles and making videos on your channels. I can definitely relate to your ideals man.. I thought i was the only one having those problems; depression, anxiety and porn/masturbation. To think that YOU actually beat ALL of them just mindfucked me so much. You’re my role model man.. Please continue with what your’re doing. Also, a question – where do you recommend ordering modafinil online, modafizone or simplymodafinil, etc. Thanks man. God bless.

                Joel says   

                March 10, 2016 at 1:31 AM

                I think I’ll start a new series dedicated specifically to this issue. I struggled with it for almost a decade and I can honestly say I will relapse again. It didn’t happen by accident though, but I found what worked for me through a lot of trial and error. As for the modafinil, look on the menu on the top of the site for the “buying modafinil” tab. Or just use this link:

        jay says   

        September 9, 2016 at 11:59 AM

        Thanks for writing this. I’m starting a new workout program which lasts 12 weeks. I have decided to also buy 3 books that i plan to read within those 12 weeks. Anything to get my mind off porn and masturbation. I really appreciate this article and hope that i can get through 12 weeks and feel normal again.

            Joel says   

            September 9, 2016 at 2:57 PM

            I’m considering starting a program complete with a forum for guys to keep track of their progress, ask questions, and stay in touch with each other. Would you find value in something like that?

    Studog says   

    March 17, 2016 at 6:32 PM

    Yes liking this, has inspired me to stop too. I think you’re absolutely right in that it sumps your energy levels. I was doing it too much when bored / depressed, just to escape reality and kill some time.But Also I’m married so I should save the best for my gorgeous wife. So when she comes at me I’m ready to take her on. Ha! Not fapped once this week, but have enjoyed more some intense (ahem!) sessions with the missus! Other factors contribute to my tiredness so also started testing armodafinil this week. Finding your articles and videos insightful and helpful. Thank you for taking the time!

    John Cena says   

    April 3, 2016 at 11:44 PM

    Nearly cried reading this. I’ve been ‘trying’ for 5 years too. My longest streak was 46 days and even then I can say I experienced most of what you describe. What I remember amazi g me the most was the color. See the world in color. I can’t forget that realisation.

    Your post has reinspired me and reminded me to apply the correct mindset. You’re not quitting for a while, your quitting forever; this is your life now. When you accept that, you stop trying to resist and struggle and instead go about your day. I also applied this when fixing my overeating.

    Devin Daniels says   

    April 6, 2016 at 10:13 AM

    Double-D Devistating and Delicious Devin Daniels approves this message.
    I’m 45 and I’ve slept with over 2500 women. At one point I was addicted to coke and porn. I was always addicted to sex with women and obviously masturbation. If I wasn’t banging- I was jacking. I have used testosterone, cialis and Viagra, clomid and anti progesterones all to increase sex, sex drive and sexual side effects of said drugs. I can attest to what Junior here has said. It gets far more noticeable as you get older. Both the draining from doing it and the better life from not doing it. And all that jazz about sex improving your relationship isn’t necessarily true. In fact it makes it harder to maintain your relationship yes- but, if you do the work to maintain it without sex- WOW- the relationship gets so much better and fills the loneliness like never before- maybe you will discover that you 2 aren’t meant to be but maybe you will discover she is the one and you just couldn’t see it/her before. I experienced both.
    Quitting drugs obviously made me a better me. Quitting porn did too. Quitting daily masturbation did too. Also, once you develops your relationship without sex and masturbation- when you and her do have sex- it’s on a whole other level. It goes from physical and maybe emotional to those 3 plus a spiritual experience. And all through love- not drugs. I am sober now. I Love my wife. I Love my kids and am 100% there for them all. And I get my shit done too because I have the energy. I’m proud of myself. I think higher of myself. I admire, respect and love myself. And living in such a state is living through love and the spirit and being connected to life- engaged in life and enjoying it. I am 100% loyal now. I cheated on every girl I ever had a relationship with and even my wife now before. Realizing I was addicted to porn after I quit banging other women and realizing I was addicted to masturbation and quitting them both- set me free. I can still fight (I had 36 amateur fights and 2 pro) but I don’t want to. I can still pull ass- I’m big built, good looking and have a lil money, but I don’t want to. I spend my time being Daddy and husband and a lover of life, family, self and people.
    I think this is a very important and true write up that many young men should fake to heart. The problem is we as young men are never prepared properly for sex. We are never told the whole truth of it. We are told the glass is only half full when in fact the glass is both half full, half empty and right smack dab in the middle. Yes, sex, masturbation is pleasureable- duh but it also is addictive and is a more complex thing with consequences and requires responsibility but sex sells so why ever tell the other side’s to it? That’s capitalism! Where does the $ come from? Our pockets- therefore we all need to be sold- not told- the whole truth. Young men listen to this write up. Older men too. I can’t remember half the women I banged. None of it ever filled me- not threesomes, foursomes, models, strippers, porn stars, college girls, etc…it got to a point where in order to continue to experience something new I would have to do things that I never wanted to do and loose more of myself. Don’t start the peaceless, endless Chase of temporary fulfillment (perhaps of ego even) and Chase it where it leads you.
    I wish you all luck(which I don’t believe in), peace, freedom and love.

    Anonymous says   

    May 15, 2016 at 7:07 AM

    OK let me start today. I have been suffering from this since 20 years .honestly I tried a lot to quit. But never succeeded. It has ruined everything in me. I want to rebuild my life

    Kris U says   

    June 28, 2016 at 4:27 AM

    Hey Joel,

    I would like to thank you a lot for these articles! I mean, the first time I read about this NoFap thing, it was just mind blowing! I couldn’t really believe that it can cause so much damage in the long run. But it all made sense! At that point, I got so angry – is this what ruined my social life, my motivation for achievements, it caused me depression and disappointment in me and the people around me? I had to find out, so I said to myself: I am not going to plan this, I am not going to start tomorrow, I am doing it FUCKING NOW! And for a person with ADD, who procrastinate literary everything, such as myself, that means A LOT.
    Well, even though I have just started quite recently, I feel extremely motivated not to quit, heck, not to relapse at all (although I am not sure how realistic is that – it’s still mostly an unexplored territory for me).
    I read a lot of stories on the NoFap forums and some other sites, but there is one thing that looked somewhat strange to me – everyone was talking about the porn as the greater evil and the masturbation being a sub-product of that lifestyle. Now, I do not consider myself a porn addict, I don’t have ED and I can masturbate perfectly fine without any external stimuli, but I do consider myself a masturbation addict. In the end, is that the same thing?
    I found a lot of information on the net about how porn affect people, but only here I saw some really intriguing concepts about how the masturbation affects you. There was literary nothing on the internet about the positive effects on you when you are not masturbating, only tons of advises how to make your sperm more fertile or how good is for your health to masturbate, which all sounded like a total bs. A few sources said that after some time, the semen breaks down into nutrients (such as Calcium, Zinc, Chloride, Magnesium and many others) and rise your level of testosterone, but is that it?? Reading how people changed over time makes me think that there should be more to this story.
    Anyway, I am still a bit anxious how the whole thing will turn out, but I am staying positive and moving forward. Thanks again for your inspirational stuff and keep up the good work!

    Khan says   

    November 24, 2016 at 4:24 PM

    I have been into it since 11 years since if not more, my longest streak of porn is 45 days so far, I even have engineering degree now but this fuckin porn addict really limits ur achievment in term, I cud have been a topper in my university if I was not porn addict, I cud have best of job but I hardly finding, this addiction keeps hitting u, keeps coming at u, physical demages r almost worst fluid from joints tears always, u become like engine with out motor oil in it, friction every where in your body, semen fluid fluid is only part of ur body which can produce another human being it is that powerful, n people drain it out with water with out knowing its importance, I did my first masterbation when I was 13, I wish I never had done that every day, your blog is really excellent one, I hope that it will help me in long run, I m starting my nofap from today, I pray that Allah(God) will help me n all of u guys n every one suffering from this evil in best possible way to conserve our energies just for martial lives, which is the only legal way doing this all, all the alopathy doc who say that its fully healthy r just bullshit, if every one stays healthy whom will sell their test tube technology n all that expensive injection n treatments,

        Joel says   

        November 26, 2016 at 10:24 AM

        Stay strong, my friend. Don’t be deceived into believing your life is over and you’ve wasted everything away. You’re still young enough that you can completely turn this around. The easiest way to do this is to be busy 24/7. You can’t control thoughts that come into your head but you can control whether or not you decide to dwell on them. If you’re serious about seeing this through, you NEED a motivating goal to work on that will occupy 12+ hours of your day. Become obsessed with it, think about it day and night, and live for it. For you, it might be your university degree. For me, its my businesses. Another thing, don’t flirt with porn at all. Don’t rationalize and say “oh, well I’ll just look at some bikini pictures on google”. Stay obsessed with your goal, and make the effort to have friendly interactions with guys and girls around you every day. It takes the tension off and makes life more enjoyable.

    PornAddict says   

    February 28, 2017 at 11:50 PM

    Your text was so inspirational & powerful to read – minus the part with pixel whores because you see, in my case it’s the pixel guys (i’m gay) but i don’t watch gay porn because it disgusts me (tried it a few times but couldn’t get into it at all, too violent & can’t get horny at all) so i only watch straight porn. I really want to beat this damn lust that’s inside of me & i’ll NEVER go public as gay because of the multiple reasons & the biggest concern about it are health issues that come with being fully gay. I’ve never even had a secret partner, i was just masturbating all these years while having fantasy thoughts but in a recent years it’s strictly fapping with porn & each passing day it’s sucking my life-aura extremly faster then before i was masturbating without porn.

    It’s march 1st, fresh month, apparently i started my journey to beat this disgusting addiction & take over the control of my life. I perfectly well know that the road isn’t like talking the walk in the park, it’s very difficult i relapsed too many times before but your text was so inspiring & motivational i just want to cleanse this poison from my body & to never look back or think about it ever again.

        Joel says   

        March 1, 2017 at 9:13 AM

        As you go through the process of recovery, I’d welcome you to have an open mind. There are tons of people who escalate to all sorts of weird fetishes and porn that doesn’t match their sexual orientation and they would never even consider pursuing these acts in real life. From your description, it sounds like you’ve escalated in porn a way of increasing the shock factor to get more high. As you go through the process of recovery, you may very well realize that these thoughts don’t line up with your true desires and you want something else altogether for your real life.

        I’ve talked to tons of guys who escalated to gay/tranny porn and were starting to second guess their sexuality. After months of being clean and not mentally feeding that fantasy, they came to their senses and realized it was all just an illusion of fantasy to get high and they were never really gay to begin with. If you’ve been addicted for years, you start to develop all kinds of bizarre preferences (I can attest to this). Once you go long enough being clean and you’re thinking clearly, you often look back on those fetishes as absolutely disgusting.

        Don’t be quick to label yourself as gay or this or that, because you’re still thinking and feeling through the lens of addiction. Take the time to recover, rethink your priorities and what you want to accomplish with your life, and align with your true self. 3 – 6 months from now, you might look back and hardly even recognize the person you are today. Just keep an open mind and see what comes out of it.

        If you need any help, just hit me up.

            PornAddict says   

            March 1, 2017 at 7:08 PM

            I’ve been attracted towards men since i was a child, guess somehow it’s true that sexual orientation is inborn. But whenever, rarely, the thoughts came into my mind about opposite sex i was quickly repulsed by it & something in me just started to push it away so far away because i was feeling uncomfortable. I just want to stop with this addiction nonsense & focus on things that make life vibrant because after watching porn/masturbating i’m also dealing with low-self esteem & with a little bit of social anxiety. The more time passes without using porn/fapping, the more i feel better & confident but when i relapse…it’s back to square one. For my soul’s peace i would also like to get rid off this desire/lust towards same sex & just be asexual (not to be attracted to either gender). This is going to be quite a challenge on top of dealing with damn addiction…

    PornAddict says   

    March 2, 2017 at 3:27 AM

    Btw, how these recent comments of mine (including your reply also) aren’t visible on pc – desktop version? They are only visible on mobile version. Any explanations?

        Joel says   

        March 2, 2017 at 12:34 PM

        must be an issue on your end. Works just fine on every platform I’ve tried.

    Vitor says   

    May 1, 2017 at 9:47 PM

    Excellent article! It’s been 12 days since I’ve started this journey and I’m feeling awesome too! I also noticed in myself several things you’ve mentioned in the text, such as confidence, looking straight into the eyes, attention from girls and the non-superior or inferior interaction.

    I’m 24 and it’s one of the best decisions I’ve made in my whole life!

    Thank you for sharing your experience! It boosted my confidence and willpower!

    Greetings from Brazil!

        Gui says   

        October 30, 2017 at 3:31 PM

        Hi bro, let’s exchange emails to chat about our journeys

    Jmaes says   

    May 23, 2017 at 6:16 PM

    I’ll add to what you said “Overwhelming Sense of Power and Purpose
    This one is much more subtle and creeps up on you like a ninja the further along you get. It’s not something that you are consciously aware of or can practice. You can’t mind-fuck or hypnotize yourself into becoming more confident in yourself or carry yourself with pride. Over time, it gradually becomes a part of who you are and it feels like second nature.

    Some people will say,

    Well that’s just placebo. You think you’re becoming a more confident, stronger man because of your self control, and its just artificial.”

    SAYING THAT’S TRUE, there’s no “thinking your becoming more confident, so you become confident” as a guy who stayed 6 months in flatline, nothing would help me, I would constantly be in a dull, lifeless state, I could work out or take all the health supplements, but it wouldn’t help anyway, after completing the reboot, I started to feel the superpowers, a truly, magnificent POWER flowing through you, it’s just incredible, you reach you FULL POTENTIAL, full capacity, you’re at the top, at your best, there is no PLACEBO! THIS IS WHAT STAYS, this energy is fucking real bro!

    W.L. says   

    August 11, 2017 at 12:16 AM

    “Pixel whores” lmao. But this phrase really puts things into perspective.

    Ken says   

    September 26, 2017 at 12:40 AM

    Everything you say is absolutely true. I embarked upon this crusade years ago. Every relapse feels like you are being dragged to where you first started. I never thought that withdrawal from porn could even be such an issue, but it is. To really defeat it Is will probably need a year. Unfortunately haven’t been able to last that long without looking at that filth. Then when I relapse and feel like a miserable piece of shit for weeks on end, I begin to realize how much of a retard I’ve been for masturbating that much as a teenager. Hoe much sense it makes that I felt drained and irritaties on a daily base. Everything looks better, feels better, goes better if you abstain long enough. The mental aspect of it is huge. You become you but without the obsessions. Every thing looks vibrant and radiating like you say. Like it’s supposed to. People like you, like-minded souls give me the courage to keep this positive change going. In the end self control paves the way for happines. Thanks for this. Never give up. After all, life, light and God are there at your side when you choose this path. It takes a lot of discipline but it’s worth everything. Life is best lived without wasting it. I could not agree more. Also about the medical and society related cover up. It’s all about money. Lust is an empty pursuit after all. Thanks again

    Mike says   

    October 18, 2017 at 8:25 AM

    Normally I don’t lve a comment on everythings I read cos like you said mate they’re a bunch of lies!

    Everything’s u said is true mate
    This is the best and honest article I have ever read.
    Thankx for sharing the story.

    Wasp Bridges says   

    October 26, 2017 at 5:30 PM

    What video game is that background from anyone know? The guy with the sword starring at the entrance of what looks like a castle. The image can be found in the middle of the article Fyi. Very serious question as it looks like a cool game and congrats brother

        Joel says   

        November 17, 2017 at 10:20 PM

        Lol its a trippy psychedelic banner from google.


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